Love, Friendship, Virginity, Life.
Waiting for my flight, feeling all the familiar jitters, thinking of my kids good-natured joke: “Mom, why can’t you ever fly without butterflies in your stomach?” Because butterflies fly my dears. Same way as when one hiccups one needs to drink some water to make it stop, because hiccups cannot swim. Fact.
Isn’t technology wonderful? Sitting at any airport, clicking on various devices, everybody seems to be attached to one, and we all stay connected. Let me share a secret, all you my virtual friends out there. Each time I get a comment I am astonished that somebody read my posts and found them useful. Or as WordPress kindly puts it, “awesome”. I dutifully click on the links provided, figure out the time zones, realize that while I posted my GWs (Gems of Wisdom) at 6am, it was probably late night in another hemisphere… Where was I?
Oh yes, friendship, love, virginity, life. Friends teach us a lot even when we do not realize it. When my future life-long best friend and I began our friendly dating – because what is friendship but a different kind of dating? We all go out together with our friends, right? Isn’t that profound! Actually friendship progresses in much the same way as traditional dating. We go out, we talk, we visit, we get acquainted with families. Then our friendship may either blossom or fizzle out. I was shocked to hear that my friend’s parents were in the process of divorcing right when we met. Her mother was extremely bitter, she threw tantrums in front of everybody, cried and screamed at the unfairness of it all. Surprisingly my friend didn’t seem to mind that it was my first meeting with her mother. Obviously she was inured to that, or maybe she hoped for some relief. Thus I understood a few important things at the age of seventeen. For instance I saw firsthand that parents do separate even after many years of marriage. I realized that my friend’s placidity and her ability to largely ignore the world around her were either a protective shield, her way of coping, or she was really very calm and balanced. Most importantly what her parents were going through, what they were doing did not impede our wish to be friends! Her father was very patient about it all, he encouraged our friendship and gave us both good advice when needed.
In my family my very sociable beautiful mother was the absolute center of the universe. When I shared the disturbing news about my new friend, I saw that my mother started thinking about something. The. Her face acquired the familiar expression, it was obvious she was going to say something, and she was sure of the reaction she would get. “So my dears, if we decide to get divorced, which parent would you stay with?” She asked my sister and me, with a triumphant look at our father. Before I could come up with a tactful reply my sister shouted, ” We’ll separate from you both! She (pointing at me) already earns good money with her translations and tutoring, and she is too kind to leave me without any support! We can manage without you!” My mother was stunned; my father smirked but wisely kept silent.
Thank to my friend I saw that a father may also play a large role in communication .
Watching those parents helped me understand why my friend started dating at age eighteen; I had no idea that she began to sleep with the young man very soon; by the time she told me I was mature enough to understand why she wanted to have a family of her own as soon as possible. No, I didn’t understand why she felt the desire to lose her virginity during her second date but I accepted her attitude. I am not sure that it was love, or at least it was not Love as I envisaged it for myself. So our lives are different, so what. We are still friends.
Theres no shame in being a virgin or not; there are no rules which stipulate when exactly who has to do what. Some people go with the flow, others rush into things. You decide to wait until you meet the ONE and decide to get married? It’s YOUR decision. Nobody can force you into anything you don’t want. By the way it works both for men and women. Sure, when we watch any TV show we often lose track of who sleeps with whom why. As a character from ” Grey’s Anatomy” said, everybody has slept with everybody else. And why exactly should people do that? The ease with which relationships are formed and broken on screen is staggering. But that’s not real life, fiction is not fact. As a writer formulated it, sex sells. Plain and simple. Life is not like that.
I believe in Love, Friendship, Happiness, Understanding. I try to think positive in spite of all the bad sad horrifying news.
Time to fly, together with my swarms of butterflies. Hopefully there won’t be any hiccups.
Love, Friendship, Virginity, Life.